I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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