sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
is it fun? or sober?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
