If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We need a shit load of segways right now
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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