I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
