He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
