It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
