I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
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