I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
