I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize