about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
