So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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