Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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