im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize