FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You made out with two different species that night
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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