I just made out with a guy for $7.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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