dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize