Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
