Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have post one night stand depression
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
