Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
