I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize