the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Can Purell be used as lube?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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