i think i have herpe
just one?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's never too late to be topless.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
