Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
