I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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