oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
