is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
