Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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