it hurts more in the daytime
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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