She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Text me some of your sweat
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
