I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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