Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
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She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
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I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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