Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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