I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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