bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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