sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
