were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
