There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
