First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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