if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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