yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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