people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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