I'm really into asian looking animals
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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