It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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