As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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