jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
