Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
