i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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