he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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