The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
