Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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