after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
