see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
