ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
