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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Who is this?

  (407): View more from Florida

  Who do you want it to be?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sarah Palin

  (407): View more from Florida

  I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde

  Fav 4 2533 878

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• (360): View more from Washington

  The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...

  Fav 14 1441 2680

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.

  Fav 272 9017 1820

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.

  Fav 6 2590 1126

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...

  Fav 4 1640 887

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.

  Fav 3 613 944

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.

  Fav 1 660 495

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat

  Fav 0 454 679

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.

  Fav 1 658 192

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Does this mean I have to put a bra on now

  Fav 3 58 35

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..

  Fav 1 26 57

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day

  Fav 0 35 18

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• (425): View more from Washington

  If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.

  Fav 0 17 51

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  What in the fuck are you doing with your life

  Fav 1 34 7

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.

  Fav 0 35 27

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