Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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