I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
