i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
